The Blog

Is your inner-child raging?  

The fracture you feel in your parenting is to do with the unhealed fracture of your experience as a child.  

In making peace with our parents, it isn't about rehashing the past.

Making peace with our past isn't about rehashing the trauma or rehashing what has happened.

Making peace with the past is about being able to see it from a higher level of mind and a higher level of heart.

It is bringing understanding to our parents' story.

Contemplate on this, on a sc...

"I am so angry with my parents. Now that I've become a parent, I keep thinking, WHY did they do what they did?! I would never do to my child what they did to me...."

OR

"I feel so guilty for feeling this way about my parents now that I'm a parent... and I know they did the best they could, yet I'm in so much pain... and I can't shake it! I feel ungrateful and mean if I judge them!"

It's a common narrative that most of my parents, especially mothers, share. 

There are all these spaces we go t...

A few weeks ago, I did a poll on my personal Facebook profile on what parents yearned for the most.

Most of the respondents were mothers - and the answer that came out on top was this; "How to have my needs met". 

I reached out to a few of the respondents to find out more about what they meant, the challenges, and why their needs weren't being met.

Here's what came out of the conversations.

There was a mixture of resentment, self-sacrifice, being the hero, being a victim, and blame on the surf...

Another day full of screaming. Full of rage - and the guilt kicks in. The shame kicks in. It's relentless. It's a vicious cycle. 

You know that screaming and yelling isn't working, yet you still do it. And the more you do - the more guilty you feel.

And you somehow think the reason for the tension is because you're not spending enough time with your children. 

Let's get something clear. Your successes and wealth aren’t the reason your child is acting up.

It’s not that you’re spending too much ...

How are you doing? Really? 

How are you really doing? - When was the last time you allowed yourself to "feel"?

When Brooklyn was in utero, they discovered some abnormalities with his kidneys. Since then, we have had to monitor it and today was another check-up day.

I'm at the Children's Hospital, and it's both heartbreaking and inspiring.

Inspiring to see these children and their resilience, and heartbreaking because I can't begin to imagine what the families go through. 

I'm sitting in the...

Are you thinking; "When does it get easier?"

It doesn't. 

I get it. You're spent. You're feeling unseen. It feels relentless. The dream of being a parent isn't playing out the way you envisioned it. Who would have thought you would be so triggered, so defeated, and feel disconnected inside.

You are consumed with guilt and consumed by shame. Worried that you're screwing them over. You're on high-alert like you've never been before... and it's bittersweet.

There are moments of "What's this all for...